Parenting is Overrated

It's not far, it's just a CLICK away.

Posted in: SEE YA THERE on Sunday, May 31, 2009 at at 3:21 PM 0 comments  

Created a new header and I can't get the son of a bitch to work. Why? Why must this be so hard for me. I've been going at this for almost 3 hours. Ugh.

Posted in: NEED BLOGGER LESSONS on Saturday, May 30, 2009 at at 9:13 PM 0 comments  

She won't stop. It's been 3 hours of homeschooling The Mastermind. So far she has been sent to the office four times, eaten lunch twice, had music class, and sang The Bear Went Over the Mountain with the appropriate hand gestures nearly 100 times.

I think right now it's "Rest and Reading" time because The Boss has taken almost the entire library into her room and is explaining how to read. This should be good. I envision screaming and fighting to begin in exactly 5 minutes.

Didn't even need 5 minutes. Time to go break it up.

Posted in: SHE'S GOING TO BE SENT TO THE OFFICE FOR A FIFTH TIME on Friday, May 29, 2009 at at 4:10 PM 0 comments  

My new Mactastic keyboard is tiny. It can't be longer than a foot. I measured it up to my foot just now to be sure. Nope, definitely not longer than 12 inches. It's driving me nuts.

I never realized that I use the key pad on the right ALL. THE. TIME. until now. My email address has numbers. All my passwords have numbers. You mean I'm supposed to use the ones on top? That's crap!

What I don't understand is Apple makes the iMac with a gigantic screen, but a replacement keyboard the size of a peanut shell. What's that about? Supersize one just to shrink it's mate? Makes no sense.

Posted in: I KEEP ACCIDENTLY "TYPING" NUMBERS ON THE DESK on at at 4:05 PM 0 comments  

I traded my future free time and sanity for 2 Oreo cookies and a cup of punch today. That's right I joined the PTO at The Boss' school. Not only that, but all of the officer positions are open and no one will volunteer so I will probably get suckered into one of those as well.

At least I sucked the husband along with me so I'm not alone in my venture. This is going to be a long decade.

Posted in: KIND OF SCARED TO BE HONEST on at at 1:56 PM 0 comments  

According to The Boss I am an embarrassment. As I walked her home from school yesterday, I tried to chat her up, asking her about her day and which kids turned a card because I know how much she loves to tattle.

She remained silent.

By the time we crossed the fourth block, I was wondering what the hell her problem was. She finally looked up and me and says "Okay, we can talk now." Totally caught off guard, I let her spill the beans on the bad kids and how she was bummed they canceled her field trip, but there was a silver lining in that she got to eat her lunch with the teacher in the classroom.

Once she was done, I started telling her about my day. She listened and then said "Whoa! Whoa! Just wait. Don't talk, just walk." I asked her why and she glared at me and points to the cross street where 2 kids from her school were walking home. Once they were out of sight she says, "Okay, go back to talking."

I asked her again what her deal was and she bluntly said "Mom, you talking is embarrassing. You say weird things sometimes. And you sing. Loud. If there are kids from my school around, you just can't do that. Oh, and if people drive by with their doors open... wait did I say doors?... I mean windows open, then you still can't talk. Just walk."

I thought I would get at least a few more years before I became uncool. She's only 5 1/2! I guess I'll just have to try harder. You know by singing louder, wearing mom jeans and wearing hot pink scrunchies.

Posted in: REVENGE SUCKS KID- YOU'LL LEARN on Thursday, May 28, 2009 at at 10:10 AM 0 comments  

Memorial Day weekend was the kick off weekend for up north which The Mastermind calls "Norf." An entire weekend devoted to grilling, playing ladder golf, fishing and campfires. It was pretty awesome for the most part. There was only one surprise.

Sunday morning I wake up and start to flutter around the cabin trying to keep everything clean and organized. There is nothing I hate more than having my kids trash someone else's house. The cabin is my in-laws and while they are totally nice people, I still don't like the thought of them coming up and seeing that a 4 person tornado blew through their place. So I'm cleaning and moving things around blah blah blah and then realize I haven't peed yet.

I sit down in the closet of a bathroom and relieve myself. I do the whole wipe and look [out of habit, it's a chick thing, right? please tell me it is] and to my surprise... there it is! After almost 3 years of not having my period, it decides to show up when I am in the middle of freaking nowhere with absolutely no supplies available.

I immediately start to panic. What am I going to do? There is a gas station about 10 minutes away, but crap, what if they don't have anything? Why does my body pick NOW to pull this shit? I've never had one of these "OMG, it's my period!" moments in my life so I guess I've been pretty lucky thus far.

I tell DH we're going to the store NOW and get everyone loaded up. The kids are confused on why we're leaving at 7 a.m. for the store, but I'm too panicked to care. I'm praying that I don't bleed onto my pajama bottoms because they're the only ones I brought with me. Completely unshowered and no makeup, I run into the gas station and search the aisles. I'm crushed when I don't find anything, but last minute I remember to check the end caps. "YES!" I shout when I see them. I have never been so happy to pay retail prices for pads and tampons in my life. I brought them up to the counter and the lady behind the counter chuckled. Yep lady, I'm unlucky, I know.

Other than that, we had a pretty uneventful weekend. No one accidentally fell into the lake. Some of the kids napped. Even I got a nap which hasn't happened in years. It was pretty damn awesome.

Posted in: TAMPONS- NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT THEM on Tuesday, May 26, 2009 at at 10:03 AM 0 comments